Why was frankie sandford ill




















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Find out how many millions he's earning now. Frankie was met at the airport by boyfriend, now husband, Wayne Bridge pictured after filming in Reykjavik in and headed straight to hospital.

Eventually, every time, I would be back where I started, keeping up a smile with the band but coming home every night and sobbing myself to sleep. My list of symptoms made sober reading. I had uncontrollable panic attacks and paralysing negative thoughts about anything and everything. I had trouble sleeping, lacked energy and had lost my appetite and my libido. When our plane touched down from Reykjavik, Wayne was waiting for me at the airport.

We had already agreed I would go into hospital straight away but few people knew — and certainly the paparazzi who took pictures of us walking through Heathrow together had no idea of the pain and fear we were both feeling. I have always been good at smiling for the camera. And yet it was also a relief to have a plan at last. Obviously, I was nervous — I had no idea what to expect — but I was finally doing something about these awful feelings that had plagued me for so long.

The only way from here had to be up. I had decided not to tell my family about my stay in hospital, at least not at first. I knew they would blame themselves and question their decision to let me go into the music industry when I was a child. He was my constant, the person who knew me inside out and had seen me at my worst and most vulnerable. He made me feel safe and loved. Frankie pictured in Iceland met people suffering from illnesses including bipolar, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder while in hospital.

As soon as I got there, doctors put me on new medication — venlafaxine, clonazepam and diphenhydramine sleeping tablets in such high doses my first few days in hospital are a blur. I spent most of them asleep, but that was fine. It was all I wanted, not to think, not to be inside my own brain, locked in my own painful internal battle. It was a private hospital and we were a mixture of voluntary and involuntary admittals, suffering from a range of illnesses — from bipolar, depression and anxiety to post-traumatic stress disorder PTSD , addiction and eating disorders.

It might sound intimidating but, actually, it was amazing. There were so many people who had experienced the same feelings as me, if not worse, that I felt understood and not so alone. I no longer had to hide, cover up and lie about how I was. Frankie pictured with Kevin Clifton on Strictly in said her time in hospital gave her the opportunity to rediscover things that she'd been passionate about before.

My days revolved entirely around getting better and understanding myself more. I did art therapy, which I was rubbish at but enjoyed. I did a little bit of group cognitive behavioural therapy, too, but I would get tired really quickly and I was nervous about sharing any of my issues with other people. Not because I was famous, but because I felt a profound feeling of shame.

We had mindfulness sessions, too, but I never got into that. The anxiety would build until it was too much to bear. I felt I was worthless, that I was ugly, that I didn't deserve anything I thought I was selfish, miserable and ungrateful. I had been given this amazing life, but I wasn't happy. I used to stay in bed a lot and had no motivation. I thought I was just being lazy. However, coming out of hospital and going back into that environment was "too intense".

I felt I looked really sad. One of the constants in Frankie's life has been her husband, ex-footballer Wayne Bridge, who she's been with for a decade. He could have easily walked away then. Frankie says Wayne struggled too but he took the time to try to understand what she was going through. She says she tells Wayne to try to not "fix her". Frankie and Wayne have two young children - Parker and Carter - but pregnancy was also tough for Frankie to balance with her depression. I had water retention, I had morning sickness and I put on a lot of weight really quickly.

Frankie had also had an eating disorder, and says it was hard to accept the changes to her body, which was made worse by people online commenting on her appearance.



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